Parenting a traumatized child is a journey filled with deep love, patience, and a fair amount of overwhelm. Trauma — whether from abuse, neglect, bullying, or a dramatic life change — profoundly shapes a child’s emotions, behaviours, friendships, and ability to concentrate and learn.
The Strengths and Difficulties Questionnaire (SDQ) is a powerful tool designed to help us view a child’s struggles through a clear, objective framework. It assesses a range of behaviours — from frequent worries and nervousness to aggressive or solitary behaviours — and highlights both difficulties and protective factors, such as kindness, helpfulness, and friendships.
Why Trauma Shows Itself in Certain Behaviours
For a traumatized child, daily tasks can feel overwhelming. Certain behaviours you may observe — restlessness, fidgeting, frequent temper tantrums, nervousness in new situations, poor concentration, or withdrawal — are not signs of a “bad child” or poor discipline, but symptoms of trauma’s impact on their nervous system.
Using the SDQ to track these behaviours can help you:
✅ Identify patterns and triggers ✅ Monitor progress over time ✅ Provide valuable information to therapists, educators, and health care providers
Categories Measured by the SDQ
The SDQ covers 5 key areas — Emotional Symptoms, Conduct Problems, Hyperactivity/Inattention, Peer Relationships, and Prosocial Behaviour — offering a well-rounded view of your child’s struggles and resiliency factors.
➥ Emotional symptoms: Look for worries, nervousness, unhappiness, or a tendency to be easily scared — all signals of a child trying to navigate a world that feels threatening.
➥ Conduct problems: Short temper, fighting, bullying, or dishonesty may reflect a child’s struggles to regulate their emotions and find healthy ways to resolve conflict.
➥ Hyperactivity/Inattention: Fidgeting, restlessness, poor concentration, and impulsivity often appear when a traumatized child finds it hard to stay present and engaged.
➥ Peer relationships: Trauma can undermine friendships, making it hard to connect, trust, and form relationships with other children.
➥ Prosocial behaviours: It’s not all struggles; many children retain the ability to be kind, helpful, and compassionate. Highlighting these behaviours lets us appreciate their resiliency and ability to form healthy relationships, which we can foster and celebrate.
Impact on Daily Life and Parenting
Using the SDQ, parents, caregivers, and therapists can assess the impact of these difficulties on daily life — in the home, at school, with friends, and during leisure activities — and gauge whether this puts a burden on the family as a whole.
➥ A child’s struggles may affect their ability to follow routines at home, form friendships, concentrate in class, or enjoy hobbies. ➥ Parenting a traumatized child often means additional stress for the caregiver and the whole family. ➥ It’s crucial to acknowledge this and seek support — whether through therapy, support groups, or education — to lighten the load.
Why Filling in the SDQ Is So Valuable
The SDQ is more than just a form; it’s a way to:
✅ Validate your observations — “I’m not imagining these struggles; this is real.” ✅ Provide a baseline to track progress and adjust strategies over time. ✅ Communicate effectively with health care providers, educators, and therapists, ensuring everyone is on the same page about your child’s needs. ✅ Celebrate progress, however small — spotting improvements in friendships, prosocial behaviours, or reductions in worries — which is crucial for motivation and hope.
Final Thoughts
Your role as a caregiver is challenging and profoundly important. Trauma is a heavy load for a child to carry, but with your loving support and the right tools — like the SDQ — you can help lighten that load. Filling in the SDQ lets you, your therapists, and your education team see a clear picture of where your child is struggling and where they’re thriving. It guides decisions, strategies, and interventions that help your child move forward with confidence, resiliency, and hope.
